A lot of emotions are swirling around this week. Not that they aren’t normally, but it’s an interesting time of year. My son Austin is going to start his senior year of high school. Oh, where did the time go?! He seems genuinely excited (wait, you’re excited about school?!), which does scare me, but life is a roller coaster around here so I just roll with it. I’m proud of him and I hope it’s his best year yet.
As we get closer to September 13th, the 10th anniversary of my husband’s passing, I definitely step into a pocket of vulnerability and constant deep thinking. Perhaps a good time to write a bunch of poems! It’s a familiar feeling but it has gotten easier on my mind and body as time has passed. I’m not sure I could articulate all of the reasons, but moving forward, loving others, and having support are all components of my healing process. I feel as though I’m hiking on a path in the woods and on September 13th, I will walk through a door that I walk through every year. Sometimes when I’m on the path, I fall down, I am scared, I have anxiety and don’t feel well physically or mentally. I’m sharing this with you in the event you have something similar to face and it is of comfort to you. It’s just like my poems – sharing for the sake of connecting and healing.
Fall is the season of wonderful change and I really enjoy it, but I’m also enjoy the last days of this beautiful Midwest Summer. Below is a poem I wrote about grieving and how silence could be challenging. In the early days after the tragedy, I felt like an anvil was sitting upon my shoulders. It was hard to get clear of that pain. Moving forward, one step at a time, going through the doors one season at a time, has helped me.
Let’s chat soon.